So today I begin what I’m sure will be the longest day of my life. I am on a seventeen-hour trip back from Israel. Make a quick stop in Newark, wish my parents farewell, and run like hell to make my connecting flight to LA. So far in the span of four hours I have eaten dinner twice. The one thing I remember vividly from the longest flight I have ever taken, my flight back from Australia, was that I was eating an exorbitant amount. I had dinner and breakfast so close together that I still had the taste of pasta in my mouth as I bit into my morning bagel. Put food in front of me and I will eat. Unfortunately, between the daily breakfast buffets, the airport snacks and the delicious plane meals (really salmon? Beef goulash? How bout a simple turkey sandwich – whoever is preparing these meals is no Tom Colicchio), my stomach is descending at a rapid pace. Given that there is already minimal space between my lap and the seat in front of me, this is not a good situation. Seriously, the airlines need to get with the program. This is 2010, 50% of the country is obese and the rest of us don’t like sitting with the person in front of us on our laps. The size of these seats is insane. There is no room to move at all. Just earlier the guy behind me tried to get up and go to the bathroom. My hair was up in my “Snookie Poof” and while grasping my seat, he got a hold of the poof. Bad enough that it hurt but he didn’t make it any better by adoringly rubbing my head to apologize. I have a thing about people touching me – the thing is, I don’t like it. And then there are those who don’t have to deal with these issues of the lowly economy class. From my seat I can see into their world of first class luxury. I close my eyes and dream. I dream of one day tasting those fresh baked cookies that I smell but cannot eat. Lounging in those plush seats, enough to comfortably fit even the obese. Ah, to be airline royalty. They literally rolled out a carpet during check-in for the first class passengers. But alas, I remain scrunched back here, only thirteen more hours to go. Hopefully breakfast is soon. It has been a half hour after all.