So today I went to see Britney Spears’s show (I don’t think it would be appropriate to call it a concert). I was a bit fearful with the recent rumors that she had just split with her manager boyfriend, Jason Trawick, that Britney might go off the deep end again. Luckily, she was there, hair intact and all. When she named her tour, “Circus”, she was not kidding. This was a circus to rival both the Big Apple and Cirque du Soleil. The myriad of circus freaks was astonishing as well as disturbing. The shock has still not worn off from seeing a leg-less girl fly through the air, her half-body tumbling from side to side. And then, a visit from an old friend, Max from Saved by the Bell, was up to his magical ways once again! And let me tell you, he’s moved on from his simple site gags at The Max – he performed the old “woman in a box trick”, slicing Brit in half and then putting her back together once again! David Blaine watch out. I had a moment of silence for my youth, and then felt even worse when I realized the girls dressed in Britney-esque mini skirts and stilettos surrounding me weren’t even born when Max was the coolest adult at Bayside High or when Britney was an innocent virgin singing “Hit Me Baby One More Time” in the halls of another unknown High.

I didn’t expect Britney to sing so I wasn’t disappointed when her exaggerated lip-syncing didn’t always match up to the background music. However, I thought she could have worked a little harder on her authenticity – everyone knows in “Radar” and “Toxic” there are points when her voice is totally digitalized – we didn’t actually think you could make yourself sound like that, Brit! As a former dancer, I was told I would be in severe trouble if I ever went on stage with gum in my mouth – and I was 7 years-old, performing at a middle school auditorium. Yet there Britney was last night, Trident in mouth, chewing away. She had her moments when we caught a glimpse of BC Britney (BC – Before Crazy), shaking it like we know she can. But, majority of the time, she showed us that image of a bubbling girl in pigtails is never coming back, and instead, she is a sex-fiend, who enjoys humping anything that comes her way (couches included), and may go by the alias “Amy”. There was even this little gem of a song titled, “Get Naked,” that I had never heard before, yet was quite easy to pick up and sing along to. I’ll let you guess the words to the chorus. The whole show was such a spectacle that I could care less if she sang at all. As long as her catchy lyrics play in the background, the sparkly outfits and sensory overload will still make me want a piece of her.

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