So today I continued on the great childhood cleanup and with that has come the discovery of two old diaries. It’s amazing that in the course of seventeen years, not much has really changed. Not much except for the fact that I no longer know how to write in script the way I did in my diary. For the most part though, I still hold the same insecurities and worries I did as a seven year old i.e. worrying about my weight, boy troubles, jealousy, and the list goes on.
Allow me to read a few excerpts:
May 11, 1992
“I need to lose wait” yes, at the age of seven, the body image issues began. Still today, this same event stems those feelings: “I tryed on a buckeny.” And yes, today, I still can’t spell.
And maybe if I looked better in my buckeny I would have been more like my best friend, Kelly Ann.
May 6, 1992
“Kelly Ann has such a better life thn me. Something she told me that she kissed a boy. It may sond funny but I wish a boy wode kiss me even now I am only 7#”
November, 5, 1993
“Oh man! Why did I tell everyone I got a indoor pool. Is it me, or does everyone just like me becuase of a indoor pool. Next time I try to make a friend, leave the pool out” Shit. I did it again. Now I’ll never know if you read this for amusement or in hopes of meeting me and swimming in the world’s oldest, most decrepit, indoor pool. I swear, it’s like a large, 30 year old bathtub that’s never been renovated.
Ah, and the endless entries about boys, such as this one:
April 8, 1992
“I think Anthony likes me. I like him. What if he likes me? We make a good time. But for now, I guess I’ll wait.” Now I could not tell you for the life of me who this Anthony fellow is – we aren’t even Facebook friends! But, Anthony, if you are out there, still interested?
And as always, completely forgetting what I plan to do:
February 27, 1995
“Dear Diary, I am going to the Bahamas and I will use you as my journal.” And the next entry…
March 4, 1995
“Dear Diary, well I am back from the Bahamas”
Now there really was something else I wanted to do tonight, but I truly don’t know what that is. I’d start a new journal but sadly, I no longer have the same drama as I did back in middle school. It’s not everyday that an event such as this occurs:
“All my friends went to a makeout party! Everyone was matched up and they all frenched!” Pretty crazy, right?