So today was the first day of my trip to Israel. This is my second time in Israel – I had gone on a Birthright group tour two years ago. I had wanted to keep this information quiet but the second we got in the car with our tour guide Avi, my mother informed him that they had never been to Israel before, however, I had. Just perfect. Everywhere we stopped, the tour guide felt the need to test my knowledge or rather, lack their of. The shock on his face at my inane answers to his questions was enough to make me feel like a complete moron. It was like actually being a contestant on Jeopardy, instead of alone in my room, shouting out completely incorrect answers. The information our tour guide spewed at us about the city of Jerusalem was enough to make an AP history student freak-out. By the eighth hour, he was still questioning my knowledge. You would think by now he would have spared me the embarrassment. My mother as well, albeit never been to Jerusalem, but yet, still a Jew, was clueless. So much so that several times she said “gracias” to thank Israeli shopkeepers and waiters. At least she provided a genetic excuse for my own actions. If only Avi thought it was my first time in Jerusalem, my question “who is Jesus’s father” may have not sounded so crazy. OK, it probably still would have, but regardless, in all similar scenarios, I ALWAYS say its my first time. Do you know how many first times I’ve gone skiing? Or horseback riding? Or have used PowerPoint? This is my go to strategy that has always severed me well. Why? If I say it’s my first time, either one of two things occurs. My ignorance or lack of knowledge is overlooked, because I have no prior experience. Or, my apparent skill or ability is so impressive, given that I have never done this before. Take PowerPoint for example. A few weeks ago my boss called me into her office and asked if I had any experience making organizational charts on PowerPoint. I had done this several times in my prior position and could whip one out pretty quickly. But my answer, “No, I haven’t, but I could give it a try?” “Sure,” she said. 15 minutes later I was done. That left me 45 minutes of facebooking, visiting Perez and online shopping, before attaching the slide to send to her. She was impressed and I was able to have 45 minutes of “me “time. So tomorrow we are going to another site called Messada. Have I been there? Yes. Will our tour guide know? Not if I can help it. Just like all those guys I “lost” my virginity to – none the wiser (kidding).

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