Lugnut is a Silly Word

So today my dream came true. Not in an “I’ve always wanted to be a writer and today I became one” way, but rather in a “my dream literally happened” way. Except not literally, but close to it. Let me explain. As usual, I was rudely awoken by the morning thumping that comes from up above. Prior to that, I was dreaming. Dreaming that I was driving and got a flat tire. The tire flew off the car, so naturally, I abandoned the vehicle, hopped on a boat, and ended up in Australia. While in Australia, I was on a search to find All Natural Gummy fruit snacks, which I was addicted to when I lived abroad there. While encountering many Australians, I never did find those gummies. A google search today led to the same conclusion. Seriously, if anyone knows where I can get my hands on them, I will pay good money. Well, I’ll pay money. Back in the real world, I went to the gym to try a new workout class. And guess what nationality my teacher was? Yup, Australian. Class ended and I got into my car to see that my low tire pressure light was on. Odd, since I had just gotten my car serviced about a week ago. After this servicing, I received a phone call that they had forgotten to give me back my lugnut when I left the VW dealership. Lugnut? Tee, hee, hee. That’s a silly word! And not an item I’m in any rush to go pick up since I have no idea what it is. Well, guess what I needed today. My fuckin’ lugnut; say that three times fast. Been a while since I’ve heard a good ole’ tongue twister.

My first role of my PA (Production Assistant) day was to drive to our set in Encino, about 25 miles away. I warned my boss that I may have a flat tire but then countered with “eh, but probably not.” I further supported my anti-flat tire theory by kicking all the tires this morning, and since I hurt my toe on every one, they must be fine. Well, 25 miles later, my driver’s side front tire looked sadly deflated compared to the other newly serviced ones. Maybe the fronty just needed a boost of air. I went to a gas station, pulled up to the air pump and stood awkwardly for about five minutes, until a crew of construction workers noticed me holding the air hose, sticking it onto random spots on my tire. A monkey in this position would look very similar, scratching their head and flailing the air hose all around. After a kind sir helped me fill my tire up, we listened to the air hiss on out. Upon closer observation, a nail was found in my tire, and I was directed to a nearby tire shop. The tire men could patch it up in no time, I was told. And in no time, they asked me where my lugnut was because they were unable to remove my tire! I called the nearest VW dealership, begged them to send someone to me with a lugnut, and was more or less told “no”. I had to go there with the car. The guys at the tire place put some more air in my defunct tire, and with a reluctant look said “you better hurry.” Racing against the clock, I made it to the VW dealership four miles down the road. My adrenaline was pumping. I was scared, but wasn’t sure what would actually happen if my tire lost all of it’s air. Would I swerve off the road? Or just come to a stop? Or would a nice sailboat be waiting to whisk me away? Luckily, I survived and made it to the VW dealership where they unlocked my wheel, re-aired me up, and gave me that same hesitant “good luck,” as I embarked back down the road to the tire shop. One hundred and sixty dollars later and with an elevated blood pressure, I was left with a brand spankin’ new tire. Tonight I go to bed with hopes of dreaming about finding a lugnut, nestled in a bag of All Natural Gummies. That’s a dream I’d like to come true.