So today I am awoken from my drunken slumber with a foggy memory of the events of last night. It was a rainy LA evening and as my roommate and I moved from one bar to the next along the Sunset Strip, we continued to up our blood alcohol contents. By the time we got to the Standard Hotel, we were feeling it. We happened to know the girl running the door at the swanky hotel that evening and she was able to give us an empty table for free, instead of the ridiculous cost that most sex-hungry men pool their weekly salaries together to buy, just so girls will take notice of them…or the bottle of Grey Goose on their table. As we sat enjoying our beverages, a nerdy character in glasses came over, threw down his jacket, and told us to “watch this.” Excuse me? I don’t work here. A while later, he placed his empty drink down on our table with the same request. Now I was slightly annoyed and at my roommate’s suggestion to pour the remainder of my drink on his jacket, I was psyched. There is something extremely thrilling about throwing your drink on another person. The rush is intoxicating – I highly suggest you try it next time you are out. The guy was nowhere to be seen, but his jacket was a close second. I dumped the remainder of my vodka and seltzer on his coat and we got up to go to the bathroom. Like a bee to honey, that guy swarmed at us the second we left the bathroom. He was in my face, using a myriad of profane words that I won’t repeat, as this blog is still PG, but lets just say, they were not very nice. I feigned ignorance, “I don’t know what happened to your jacket, get out of my face.” He continued to yell, and threw in the random fact that he was married. I then told him I’m an Aries, what’s your point? This guy was all up in my grill and I started to get nervous, having images of Snookie on the floor. Luckily, my roommates found security, and our four-eyed friend was escorted out. Into the rain. Where his jacket was going to get wet anyway. Geez, some people are so uptight. Maybe I should have given him my drink instead – would have loosened him up.

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