Do good things come to those who wait, albeit, impatiently? Here’s hoping… Sometimes I question my life choices. In the entertainment field, unless you are one of the lucky few, success does not come fast and easy. I have seen that it can take years (if ever) before you can become a television writer. I’m getting restless for my “real” life to begin. Not even getting restless–I started out this way. But it’s not just with my career; my impatience dominates most aspects of my life.

It’s in the kitchen. No matter what time I set the microwave to, I can’t stand to wait for it to finish. I always pull that door open before the buzzer. And, it’s unfortunate that my preferred cooking style is well done. I never have the patience to let it get to that point. My cheese is never melted enough, my bread, never toasted enough.

My impatience is also why I abhor doing laundry. I feel like I’m under house arrest, waiting for my clothes to dry. Held hostage by my hosiery. If you’re wondering why my clothing is often wrinkled, that’s why. I can only stand so much before I yank my clothing out of the dryer, often still damp.

My skin, is affected by my impatience.  Sunscreen takes too long to apply. I usually look like a burn victim the day after my first outing in the sun. I have an array of designs that result from my haphazard attempts at slabbing on sunscreen. Same goes for body lotion. Sometimes, my legs get dryer than an asexual’s nether regions, but I have no patience to carefully put on all of that lotion.

It impacts my driving. See that dent?

That would never have happened if I had just waited for the cars to move up so that I could get into the turning lane. And yellow means go, right? Kind of? Debatable. As you can imagine, I got scolded a lot when I was learning how to drive.

At work, in one of those “god only gives you what you can handle” scenarios, I work for the world’s most impatient woman. She makes me look like I’m hella chill. She will ask me if I got a response to an email she told me to send literally (and I do mean literally, literally this time) within 20 seconds of asking me to type it. I hope I one day have the opportunity to follow in her footsteps; I’ll be asking my assistant to get me coffee and then within the same breathe ask him or her what is taking so long. It doesn’t help that my computer runs slower than a one-legged hooker in stilettos. That drives both of us insane.

Many of my evenings are dictated by my impatience as well. I refuse to wait in lines. I could have spent all day being bougie, getting my hair did, prepping to look fine, but if there is a line to get into the bar, I’m out. With dating, I just want things to move right along. I’ve tried the long game but I didn’t get too far. Once a guy invited me over to “watch a movie” and about a half hour in I was like holy shit, we actually watching the movie! He waited until the closing credits before making his move. I was crawling in my skin sitting there. And, not realizing I was in it for the long haul, I had paid no attention to the beginning of the film and found myself completely lost throughout.

I want it all and I want it now. But, I know that is not always an option. So I’ll wait. Also, I am experiencing a major breakthrough. Is this is why I hate “Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory” so much? Because that piece o’ shit Veruka Salt wanted everything NOW? And then she blew up in the scariest of ways, into a giant blueberry because she was so impatient. Maybe, it was all a little too close to home.

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