There’s nothing like being back at the house you grew up in to bring on the nostalgia. I was recently at my childhood home in New Jersey, rummaging through what remained in my bedroom. I came across an issue of Seventeen magazine with a young Mila Kunis on the cover; her eyes, enticing me to take a trip down memory lane. The magazine was from 2001—a time before iPhones, Fitbits and DVRs. I laughed, I cried (fine, only from laughing) and I found 10 ways you know this magazine is from 2001.
1. In the trauma-rama section of the magazine, there is a story that begins like this: “My class was going to an art gallery when my Discman batteries died.” Do you remember those round, portable devices which allowed you to play a CD while out on the road? I do. But no more do we have to worry about needing new batteries. Or, a supply of CDs to avoid the boredom of the same 12 tracks playing over and over again. Thank you iTunes.
2. Sean Hayes appears on the pages of this teen girl magazine. It’s hard not to loves this funny man but let’s be honest, he is no teenage heartthrob.
3. In the article Get a grip! teens are given 17 different ways to deal with stress. Suggestion #17 is to be a power planner, which proposes that readers write down their schedule in an organizer. While keeping track of your schedule is good advice, you don’t see many teenagers walking around with Filofaxes under their arms. Want to be a power planner today? Put it in your Google calendar.
4. This advertisement for amplifying volumizing system, touting the benefit of “maximum volume.” These days, we’re all about the Chi.
5. In an article about the interns working at Seventeen over the summer, we hear about the experience of an intern named Lindsay. “In addition to being barked at, Lindsay was exhausted from sitting still for an hour in thousands of chips. ‘The chips stank and the grease soaked through my clothes like a paper napkin.’” In 2016, this feels ripe for an intern lawsuit.
6. In the Pressure Point section where teens ask “hard questions,” one girl writes in about considering taking caffeine pills to help with the stress of keeping up her grades. Do they even sell caffeine pills anymore? While we know those pills sent Jessie Spano into a tizzy (I’m so excited, I’m so excited, I’m. So. Scared.) now we have bigger concerns, with teenagers vying for Adderall to keep their minds in check.
7. This fashion spread features some of the most horrendous items I’ve seen since, well, 2001. A hideous brown leather jacket paired with a tight, belly revealing corset is enough to make you hug your off-the shoulder dress and beg it to never go out of style.
8. In the article Calling all guys, teenage guys gripe about their biggest fears when calling girls. Calling? For what? These fears are unlikely to exist anymore since I assume most teenage boys relay on text messaging to get their mack on.
9. Ralph by Ralph Lauren. The scent of middle-school dances circa 2001. Now, we associate Ralph Lauren more with that cute polo t-shirt our boyfriend has on.
10. Question #1 in the quiz, Is He Worth The Stress is: “You’ve used up all your cell-phone minutes letting him know where you are morning, noon and night to avoid the inevitable third degree later on.” It seems that since 2001, we’ve changed the spelling to one word: cellphone. Also, how annoying was it to be limited on minutes?! Glad the cellphone companies got that one figured out.
Oh, and also, has anyone ever heard of this show? If only we could have set our DVRs…