So today I walked into the kitchen in my office to find a half eaten banana sitting in the fruit bowl—skin still on—around the remaining stump. This is not the first time I have witnessed this offense, and honestly, I was ticked off. Myself and the other production assistant are responsible for stocking the kitchen as well as keeping it clean and we both feel a sense of pride over the varied snack selection and the containers of nuts and pretzels that appear to be endless given our relentless attention to consistent refilling. People travel far and wide—from the writer’s office to the wardrobe folks who work in a different building, to have a taste from our kitchen. We are the “Pink’s Hotdogs” (or “Artichoke Pizza” for you East Coasters) of kitchens. I have the same eagerness as the host of a dinner party, wanting everyone to be pleased with what they are served. Everyday is our dinner party. So the fact that someone would leave half a banana, as if anyone would eat an abandoned banana half without knowing how the first part was handled. There’s no way to be sure the banana was delicately cut with a knife rather than ripped in half by hand after a trip to the bathroom of the unknown offender. Now, for some odd reason I have a Great Depression mentality that food should never go to waste. Maybe that’s why I get along so well with the gals at my grandma’s senior home down in Delray Beach, Florida. But if someone is so adamant about not finishing a banana, then throw the remainder in the garbage! And for God’s sake people, when we buy a container of dip, it’s not meant for individual use! I cringe when I see someone walk out of our kitchen with an entire container. That’s not a 100 cal pack, that’s meant for us all! It’s like they are taking the bowl of dip off the crudités at my dinner party. So rude. I know the food in the kitchen is meant for all, but if this type of behavior doesn’t stop, I think this communist, take whatever you want system, needs to become a dictatorship. If you can’t behave properly in the kitchen, then big brother will have to keep watch. Banana bandit, we’ve got our eyes on you.