Dyana Goldman

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March 31, 2015

I’m a Mumbler

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When I was in high school, I had a friend who would joke with me about my tendency to mumble. He’d comment that I must be talking to my invisible friend, Bob. Good ole’ Bob. He was on the same dodgeball league as Drop Dead Fred. Nice guy. Chatty.

My camp friends used to say that I was “DL funny.” As in, funny on the down low. This was also attributed to my tendency to throw in some quality one-liners (she pats her own back) and sarcastic commentary at a decibel lower than most people could hear.

Jerry Seinfeld would for sure break up with me.

And, my time most likely to mumble is when I have of those “shall we dance” moments, you know, when you pass a co-worker in a narrow hallway. My “hi” almost always goes unheard and I’m sure most people just think I’m a crazy person talking to myself. Same goes for work bathroom encounters. I’m saying hi, but it looks like I’m talking to myself in the mirror.

Get me animated however, and the volume of my voice will for sure rise. I’ve many a times been told to “simma down now” when I get over excited. I’m just a walking, mumbling contradiction, aren’t I?

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