So today I had to take an emergency trip to the eye doctor. This reminded me of the day my world felt as though it was ending. I was a week away from leaving to go abroad to Australia and I got the news. “I’m sorry,” my ophthalmologist said. “You have thin corneas.” What?! Referring to any other body part, this would have been a great compliment. But corneas? No Lasik? Ever? “Sorry, no.” Just my luck. And thus, my dream of becoming a famous surfer Down Under was over before it even began.
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For those who are lucky enough to have perfect vision, it is hard to imagine the feeling of waking up, heading for the bathroom and banging into your dresser as you walk out. The feeling of disorientation when water floods your swim goggles and you bang into the swimmer in the next lane. It is not an easy life. If you are lucky, you can get by wearing contacts and not be bothered. I was a loyal contact wearer – although frowned upon, often sleeping in my contacts for days, not wanting to be blind for even a second. And yes, the vanity of not wanting to be seen in my glasses ever, I kept them tucked away in my night stand drawer, rarely to be removed. All was “la de da” until Friday morning when I woke up, my eye red and swollen and completely unattractive. Like a dirty STD from sleeping with boys, I got my own version by sleeping with my contacts! I raced to the eye doctor and was handed my sentence – I have to wear glasses for 3 weeks! I begged for an extra pair of contacts “just to have” and a new contact case because all of mine were dirty. My desperation evident, the eye doctor refused my request and watched me as I tearfully disposed of my infected contacts and begrudgingly put my glasses on.
It is day 3 of 21 and I am amazed that people wear glasses by choice. There are so many areas of my life that are being altered – how do you go to the beach in glasses? The sun is so bright! I can’t go in the ocean with them on and I’m too blind to go without! How do I work out? The second I step on the treadmill my glasses slid down my nose forcing me to hike them back up, Steve Eurkel style.
I feel like those reporters who put on fat suits and see how differently they are treated. I can’t imagine going out at night in glasses. A bar? A club? In glasses! Prior to this eye disease my glasses were reserved for the viewing pleasure of no one. My dirty little secret. No one would ever get the chance to call me “four eyes” (not that I tend to hang around too many 7 year old bullies these days). 19 more days to go? I don’t know how I’ll survive. Damn you thin corneas!